Things that go ‘thump’ in the night

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By: Chris Schliefert

It’s getting to that time of year again, no, not Christmas (though they certainly seem to do their best to shove it down our throats earlier each year), i’m talking about that most spooky of times; Halloween.

It’s becoming increasingly popular over here i’ve noticed. Nothing on the scale of mad-cap Halloween lights and decorations littering front lawns everywhere, but maybe the odd trick or treater or pumpkin strategically located on a doorstep somewhere. Baby steps for a holiday that we traditionally don’t celebrate.

But we should never forget what makes Halloween great. No, not the young children in their costumes, coming around to your house at odd hours to harass you for whatever spare lollies or chocolate you have hanging around. I’m talking about the supernatural forces; the ghoulies and the goblins. Those hard working, mischievous folk that nobody seems to really believe in these days. Oh sure, they get the occasional movie or kids show appearance, but we never get the talk show interviews, the in depth biographies of their personal lives.

I mean, let’s take ghosts for example; no one really knows much about them, what makes them tick, why some of them have an unrelenting obsession on annoying people and making them suffer. But what about the important questions, like what happens when two ghosts bump into each other? Do they pass through and keep going? Mix together to form some sort of super concentrated supernatural entity? No one knows. Also, the whole bump in the night deal, why do ghosts do that? I’m personally of the opinion that ghosts are actually cats. It would explain a lot seeing as cats are really just furry little humans with no thumbs, but still have a great desire to subjugate and rule the world.

And how about some appreciation for the bedroom monsters? The monster in the closet, the Boogyman, the creepy shadows coming through the window, all of these fellows are doing a valuable service. Teaching the next generation of children about fear and as a result how to conquer it. This is the one day of the year where they deserve some recognition and thanks for all their hard work!

So this Halloween take a couple minutes to remember those who make the holiday possible. Supernatural beings need love too. Remember to leave them a plate of lolly snakes, a glass of red cordial, and to put on “a Nightmare Before Christmas” for them this Halloween, it isn’t just Santa who deserves a treat on his way through!

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