Sam Daltry the Fish

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By Joe Miles

Floating around in this liquid dome,
a place I actually hate to call home,
no sound of wind, or anything,
in this bleak life, there’s no wedding ring.

I’d like to get out and go for a stroll,
my dull life in this bowl is taking its toll,
misery, loneliness, pain and grief,
to cut my own throat would be a relief.

I don’t know how old I am, no one has ever told me, but I feel like I’m ageing. I don’t sleep, ever, and I can’t even close my lifeless eyes. I don’t even think I have eyelids. The hallucinations I have from exhaustion are becoming more and more scary. Just yesterday I was seeing a deadly water snake in my bowl, terrifying, hurtling towards me laughing and screaming as dribble flowed from its fangs. Its eyes sourcing me out, looking at me like, speaking to me, ‘you’re just a private meal you little stick’. Terror, fear, evacuation, but I’m trapped.

I think all the house people went for some fun on the weekend. The house man has been gone for a week, and the house girl has been away for the weekend. I was left for 3 nights straight, totally alone, imagine that, no food for 3 days, dirty water, and the blinds were left down, darkness.

I’ve started my own game in this tank which has actually been really fun. I like to count all of the small colourful stones at the bottom of the bowl and see how many there are each time. First time there was 96, second time there was 109, third time there was only 7 (I was suffering from hallucinations the third time and a serious head injury from smashing myself into the side of the bowl). The game is so much fun and it’s actually been the most positive thing I’ve done since my life began. I feel invigorated and joyful when I play the game and am going to make sure I do it every couple of days.

The house people have stopped caring about the state of cleanliness in this apartment, it’s a sty. Someone poured beer into my bowl and I had no choice but to breathe it in. Poison to a small fish. What are these people doing? Misery. Am I their experiment? The trapped bowl creature that they can prod to see what I can resist. Who are the misery pests responsible for me being here? My creators… I dare them to show their gloating faces around my bowl, I’ve got some questions for them.

I had an amazing meal last night, the house man came in and put a small piece of beef burger in my bowl, it made me full and happy. Today has been a struggle as my supple frame cannot digest the beef, I’m bloated and my chest is tight.

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