FASHION MASSACRE – ST KILLA STYLEZ – MAY

In considering what is ‘in’ this month in the world of fashion, dear stylez readers, I want you to put yourself in this picture: you are climbing three sets of stairs that lead to a hostess taking tickets to board the future. We’re talking 90s gaming/internet memes, fantasy art/sci-fi or religious/spiritual manifesto.

If you have somehow caught wind that Hawaiian shirts were cool and you feel the need to sport an iridescent wet-look, my suggestion is that you hop off your dolphin because the only buzz that is of interest now is inquiry – questions of the ephemeral and spiritual, of the inner journey to find gods and the relationship our mass shift is taking towards the almighty quest for knowledge.

By now I hope I have managed to attract the readers who value quality over the mass-produced crap, manufactured by slaves, that finds itself predominantly in our lovely locale. Lets face it: Australian retail is nearly dead. And so it should be. HOW can we possibly justify stocking something that has been sewn together by human beings aged between 7 and 17 who have been forced into spending much of their lives in airless and windowless concrete rooms for over a hundred hours a week, sewing and gluing trainers together? HOW??

So, say goodbye to retail forever. It’s mostly a load of rubbish and much of it sewn together in the black market slave trade. Not to mention the fact that much of it looks like sh*t. And, in this country, vintage clothes and accessories are a total rip off, so there is no win there either. Pfffft. Retail? Grotesque.

“But, but wait. ” I hear you wail between the ad breaks during The Voice. “The news guys say if we stop shopping our economy will break down! And what about all the entitlements I’ve spent my life convincing myself I deserve?”

Good question. Good question. We do somehow have a right to a good life, even at the expense of others, and that must be preserved. People fought in wars and stuff for us to be able to buy a jumper for $10. In fact, why isn’t there a Wal-Mart in Balaclava yet? I am outraged myself. Don’t they know the cost of living is going up?

Sooo, what’s the answer? Well, that’s exactly it, isn’t it? Could it be possible that the answer is to find the answers? Oh, populace. You, who sometimes wonder: “can anything else even be invented?”