FASHION MASSACRE – FEBRUARY EDITION

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Oh, summer! We’re in the thick of it now, aren’t we? I suspect everyone has had a beer by the beach at some stage over the last month. In the spirit of things, lets pull away from fashion principles for one edition and indulge in a little bit of fluff. Now that it’s hot, let’s talk about ‘what’s hot and what’s not’. Yeah, you know exactly what I’m saying.

Hipster seems to have reached its tipping point as a style. It’s the perfect way to ‘fit in’ and perhaps even find yourself on a beer or cider commercial. You don’t have to be in Brunswick to be bohemian. They’re rocking that sh*t everywhere now! So knock yourselves out. Check out Harvard Sailing Team’s Hipster Playlist on You Tube, so you can take your tongue-in-cheek hipster attitude to a new level and become really down with the movement. Hey, to define is to destroy, right? Once again, I stress: if I spot you on th

e street doing the nautical thing, I will throw something at you.

If, at this point you, your pupils are situated in the back of your eyes sockets and you’re looking for something a little more ‘next level’ (yes ok: whatever. I hate that term too), try flaunting a maxi dress in simple black and sheer. Around the neck? One word: choker. Anything pleated is not too overdone yet, so feel free. That goes for you too, guys. Let the fabric flow but avoid looking boxy. Site Yohji Yamamoto.  Also: (perhaps unrelated, but very important) bright, colourful zebra – please die. We hate you.

A timeless festival style will always be the demure earthy mystic. So get in touch with your inner zodiac, if all else fails. The latest Pucci will direct you. Just be aware that if your hair starts to mutate and look like creatures may dwell in it, people around you may be repelled. In short, it’s a fail.

Let me make this clear: I am not advocating PLUR. However, if you feel the need to dye your blonded hair in blue-based colours, it will look ay-ok, and coin you as a lil’ bit undergroundy. But, Cyberpunk? PUKE. Don’t go there. Never ever, ever go there – no matter what the Goa Trance tells you.

Cast your influence to the late 60s and 70s for anything you may want to place on your head. Flat bills are still sweet, if you are representing with some weight or are otherwise sending a poignant message. I personally still love late 80s and 90s cuts for hair – undercuts are still totally cool.

Images by Brian Rolfe http://www.brianrolfe.com/

St Kilda Festival is slamming our streets with all its hype and glory on February 2nd. Fubuloso aside, the most important thing to remember is: be comfortable, drink responsibly and discover new music. What more do you really need to know?

massacre@stkildanews.com

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