Dating Kinks with Miz Phe

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Dear Miz Phoenix,

I date a lot of women and I find that after we have sex, I never hear from them again. So I wonder- is it possible to be “too good” in bed?


Mike B.


Mike B,

Hmmm. My simple answer is “No”. However, your question suggests you have problems far beyond the sexual.  Dearest Mike, I wonder who taught you about women?  Have you even ever had a real relationship with a woman? And by “relationship” I mean continuously seeing the same woman for a period longer than three months… Indeed your interpretation of the female form appears strikingly lacking.

Here is a small word of advice: Women seek enjoyment in bed- be that intellectual, physical, emotional or spiritual connections and experience.  To be in your predicament suggests you hold neither one highly in your repertoire of interpersonal skills.

Can a man really ever be “too good” in bed?  Let’s investigate that concept more readily.  The notion “too good” seems to be one that draws imagery of a deliciously unhealthy chocolate cake where once those last mouthful is taken we are unable to eat more.  The cake is thus considered “too good”.  Yet throw into this analogy a woman.  Women change everything, especially when cake is involved.  If the cake is good, even if she cannot bear to eat another bite or knows it is unhealthy, she quite certainly will take another bite.  In fact women are known to devour large cakes (chocolate a preference) regardless of how they feel (and often do just this when seen in packs).  The cake might appear “too good”, but for this VERY reason, a woman continues to come back for more. And after all said cake has been eaten or under the unusual circumstance that it is left overnight, morning craving will hit as soon as she arises from slumber…. and she is then found grazing over the breakfast table.

So….. My goodness dear Mike, it seems that the issue is not that you are “too good” for the proverbial cake is more-ish and women desire it so. The concern with you, darling one, is that you have an incredible inability to offer women what they really want.

One thing I expect you are not aware of is the juxtapositioning of your question.  If a woman had sex with a man and he did not call her back, she would put the blame on herself. Yet men tend to assume they are “too good”, which not only is ludicrous but also is masking your insecurities.

Now Mike, the secret to women is this: If you know how to please a woman, she will stay.  It helps if you know how to fuck.  It helps if you consider how it feels for her.  It is even better if you also are a bit of a literary genius, or can speak foreign languages.  And finally, what women look for is a connection and how you actively demonstrate this- then she will stay.

Can you be “too good” in bed, Mike B? No. Stop stroking your Ego and take some responsibility about this issue.  You are the problem. You suck in bed. And certain to say, you need to seriously learn how to romance a woman and show her that magic and authenticity (which for your future sex life, I certainly hope you have somewhere) that is the REAL YOU.

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